Stop the Spread of Toxic Complaining

May 24, 2020 Speaker: Ted Detiveaux Series: Living Well

Topic: Complaining

Stop the Spread of Toxic Complaining

It is great to be out of quarantine, and to have social interactionagain.  But I am sure you realized by now that things are notthe same as they use to be.  Going to thestoreis different now, as you may have to make babysittingarrangements because some stores are still not allowing kids.  Besides that, many stores have other precautionsthat they want you to take in order to keep everyone as safe as possible during these times.

In my experience, going to the gymis much differentthan it used to be.  First off a maskis required upon entering into the gym, next your temperatureis checked, and then you are given a bottlewith sanitizing solutionwhich is to be used to wipe down everything you touch after working out.

It would be easy to just complainabout these inconveniences.  It would be easy to complain about having a somewhat restricted air flowwhile I try to get a good burnin.  Or it would be easy to complain about wasting timebecause I have to clean the gym equipment afterward. 

But what goodwould complaining do?  It would just make things even harder for gym ownersand business managerswho are trying their hardest to keep their business afloat.

Rather a better response is to be compliantand to be grateful.  That is what I decidedto do. When I was instructedto wear a mask, I wore a mask.  When I was instructed to waita moment for my temperatureto be taken, I waited.  When I was told to cleanthe equipment after using, I cleaned the equipment after using. I cleaned to the best of my ability. 

I was just so gratefulto be able to go to the gym again.  What a great workoutthat first one was!

But to prove this is a biblical principalwe turn to the word of God. The book of Philippians

Philippians 2:14-16

Paul was a prisonerin Rome during the time of his writing to the church at Philippi in approx. 62A.D.  Paul had plantedthis church in Philippiand though it started with just a few conversionsincluding Lydia, the jailer, and thejailer’s family, it eventually grew into a thrivingchurch.  Which teaches us to not despise small beginnings, but to be faithful in the small things.

Besides teachingabout Christian living, the purpose of the letter was to thankhis supporters from the church at Philippi and to let them know that the imprisonmentwhich he had enduredduring his stay in Philippi, had been used to validate his messageregarding the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The fact that Paul wrote a “Thank You” letter to the Philippians despitebeing thrown into prison is a testimony to Paul’s character. 

Paul had all the reason to be bitter and complainabout the harsh way that he was treated while he was there for preaching the gospel, rather he chooses to be grateful.  He could have complained and written the whole cityoff and then moved on but he understoodand was thankfulthat there was a groupof people who supportedhis cause, even though there were many who did not. 

There is always something to be gratefulfor in the midst of adversity.

In the second chapter of his thank you letter Paul writes this:

Philippians 2:14-16

14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 

First off, we are given the instruction to not grumbleor dispute.  The KJV uses the word murmurinstead of grumbling,

Murmur-secret displeasure not openly avowed.  a half-suppressed or muttered complaint

With this definition we see that it is not even the expressed complaint, but rather the heartfrom which the complaint comes from is the problem.  The whole thing about a murmur or a complaint, is that it comes from a heart of discontentment.

Disputing- a deliberating, questioning, about what is true, about what ought to be done.

The last thing your hair stylist needs, is you questioningthem as to why you need to wear a mask.  Or the last thing your boss needs, is for you to question his/her leadership.  

If you don’t like the way things are being done you don’t have to work there. That is the beautyabout living in America.  Find another job. 

If you don’t likethe rules of a certain store, then you don’t have to shop there, go somewhere else. Or you can suck itup and acceptit for what it is, and be gratefulthat we have storesto shop from, and resourcesto obtain that food with, unlike some countries.

But in all things, don’t use your mouth to grumble, complainor to be defianttoward those who have been placed in authoritativepositions.  Instead walk in humility and prefer one another.

15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,

  • Complaining is toxic to our witness for Christ (Illustration)

In other words, the main reasonfor not grumbling or complaining is so that our actions would reflectthe relationshipthat we have with God.  If we are truly satisfied in Him, then there is nothingthat could bring about discontentment, which results in complaining. 

But rather the delightand joy that we have in living for God would shine brightin a dark world.

In the church of Philippi, they were experiencing persecutionfor their faith in Christ, along with the rise of false prophetsin the church and consequently divisionsin the congregation.  These were all potentialthreats of stunning the spiritual growthof that young church.   

But even amidst these things, Paul urgeshis audience to do allthings without complaining so that they would be blameless.  Though there is crookednessand perversenessaround you, you are to remain the lightin the midst of a dark world.  One way to remain a light is to Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 

  • Complaining Is Toxic to Our Health

Though complaining is temptingbecause it feels good, it is not goodfor us.

According to research, repeatedcomplaining rewires your brainso that over time, you find it’s easierto be negativethan to be positive.  

  • Have you ever been around someone like that?
  • Are you someone like that?

Habitual complaining eventually becomes default behavior, which changes how you perceive peopleand how peopleperceive you.

Research from Stanford Universityhas shown that complaining shrinks the area of the brainthat is responsible for problem solvingand intelligent thought.

When you complain, your body releases the stress hormone cortisol. All the extra cortisolreleased by frequent complaining impairs your immunesystem and makes you more susceptible to high cholesterol, diabetes, and heart disease. It even makes the brain more vulnerable to strokes.

Taking careof our physical bodiesis important because our bodies are the vesselsin which God poursHis Holy Spiritinto to fulfill His purpose. 

1 Corinthians 6:19

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Taking care of our bodies is not only eating the rightfoods, or getting the proper exerciseyou do, but also cultivatingan “attitude of gratitude” by not complaining.

  • Complaining Is Toxic to Those Around Us

If we are not concernedabout our own health, maybe we will be concerned about how our complainingaffects those aroundus.  Because according to that same study from Stanford University,

“Our brains naturally and unconsciously mimic the moodsof those around us, particularly people we spend a great dealof time with. This process is called neuronal mirroring.  that it makes complaining a lot like smoking-- you don’t have to do it yourself to suffer the ill effects.

You need to be cautiousabout spending time with people who complainabout everything

Also, people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitudeexperienced improved moodand energyand substantially less anxietydue to lower cortisol levels.”

Put simply if you spend a great dealof time with complainers, then it is a good chance that your physicaland spiritual healthwill be affectedas well.  If you are the one complaining, then think about how your complaining has affected others. 

Philippians  2:16               holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.

The infallible word of Godhas the power to set us freefrom patterns of complaining. Therefore, we should hold fastto it.

To hold fast is to fix your mindon the word of life or to hold your positionon the word of God.  There are scriptures, besides our main passage in Philippians 2, that we should fix our mind on to help us to overcome complaining

Philippians 4:11

11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.

1 Timothy 6:6-8

6 But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 

2 Corinthians 12:10

10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

If you tend to be that person that complains about everything in life, I praythat you would ask Godto forgiveyou, and to help youstop this destructive pattern in your life.

  • Complaining is toxic to our witness for Christ
  • Complaining Is Toxic to Our Health
  • Complaining Is Toxic to Those Around Us