Fight For Marriage

August 16, 2020 Speaker: Ted Detiveaux Series: Make War

Topic: Relationships Scripture: Genesis 1:27– :28, Genesis 2:18– :24, Ephesians 5:22– :33

Fight for Marriage

I understand there are many different peoplein the room today.  There are singleswaiting for that special someone.  There are those who have lost spouses, there are those who have been divorced, or who found themselves in an abusiveor brokenmarriage, and there are those who are currentlyin a covenant marriage.  I believe as Christians in whatever situation that we find ourselves in, that our main focus should be to honor God.

  • So Why Marriage?

Whyis marriagebetween a man and woman important? Some may argue that marriage is just a legalpaperbinding you to a person.  Some may look at marriage as a negativething, perhaps they have only had bad experiences.  Others may look at it as unnecessaryor inconvenient. 

Some people have what is called an “open marriage” meaning they can have extramarital relationshipswhile being married yet somehow it is notconsidered infidelity. Others may have the mentality “Why not just live with someoneand when you get tired of that person just move on tothe next?”

But what does the Biblesay about marriage?  What has God establishedabout marriage. 

That is what we want to talk about today.  Marriage, the institutewhich Godhas establishedbetween a manand a womanis disregardedby society, while man’s perverted way of dealing with relationships and/or marriage is esteemed among men.  

So let’s first see what God saysabout marriage.

The very first instanceof marriage is found in the book of Genesis.  We will start in chapter 1.

Genesis 1:27-28

27So God created man in his own image,

  1. God created male and female in His imageand in His likeness. We resembleour heavenlyfather here on earth.  Intellectualability, moraldecision-making, the ability to make willfulchoices, we are to be God’s representativeshere on the earth.

    in the image of God he created him;
    maleand femalehe created them.

  1. Who did God establish marriagebetween? Adamand Evea manand a woman. I know this seems basic, but we live in a culture which does not understand this basic principle.  Thisis God’s waywhether you agree with it or not. 

28 And God blessedthem. And God said to them, “Be fruitfuland multiplyand fill the earth and subdueit, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 

  1. We see that God had giventhem a purpose. They were to be fruitful and multiplythe earth.  Meaning they were to have lots of babiesand they were to subdue the earthby spreading God’sglorythroughout the earth. 

Christian marriagesare to producegodly offspringwho will spreadthe gospel of Christand God’s glorious presencethroughout the earth

Genesis 2:18,21-25

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not goodthat the man should be alone; I will make him a helperfit for him.” 

  1. Adamcould not dothis alone.God seen how Adam was alone and that he needed a companionwho was suited for him.  God had compassionon Adam and created him a womanwho came from his flesh and bone.

 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his fatherand his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become oneflesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both nakedand were not ashamed.

  1. Adam and Eve were to be joined as one. This was a marriage that was prearrangedand officiatedby God himself. There was no guessingwhether Eve was the right woman for Adam.  She was the only woman.
  2. Though they were nakedthey were not ashamedbecause they were doing things accordingto God’s perfect There is no shamewhen we do relationships God’s way.

To summarize,

We are image bearerscreated as maleor femalewith a purposeof being fruitfuland multiplyingthe earth accompaniedby a spousewhom God providesso that we can ultimately fulfill God’s planand purposefor our lives and to do so apartfrom guiltand shame.

That is a basic summaryof God’s intent for marriage.

  • Why is the institute of Marriage under attack?

Satan hates marriageespecially Christianmarriages.  Marriage is more than just a legaldocument.  It is a covenantthat a man and woman make with each other before Godand other witnesses.  More than that it is a picture of Christand the church.  If satan can bring disunityin our marriage, then he has also succeeded in hindering our witness of Christto the world.

There are several instancesin the Bible in which satan attemptsto corruptand pervertwhat Godhas established to be marriage. God has established a natural boundary of marriage as human-human heterosexual(manand woman).  Yet satan tries to make it something else.

  • In Genesis 6:1-4 we read about evil angelic beingswho intermarriedwith human womenby doing so they breached and rejected God’s natural orderfor marriage. Ratherthan spreading God’s gloryand holiness through marriage, these demonic beingsworked to advancesatanic wickednessover the earth.
  • In Genesis 18 we find the men of Sodom and Gomorrahwho had exchange their naturalaffectionsof being with a woman and were consumed with passionsfor one another. Distorting and pervertingwhat God has institutedthrough the marriage of a man and a woman.
  • Later in the book of Deuteronomy 24 we see that marriagewas no longer permanent, but men were given to divorcebecause of the hardness of their hearts.
  • Even natural boundarieswere perverted.In Exodus 22:19 we find laws that were written which prevented peoplefrom having sexual intercoursewith animalsprobably because they were.

Satan has pervertedand will continue to pervert the institution of marriage. God has establishedmarriage as a means to reproduce His glorythroughout the earth. 

Satan’s goal is to compromise the gospel’s effect in your life, discreditthe integrity of your faith, weakenthe Church, and hinder the advancementof the glory of Godin the earth.

  • If he can get you mixed up with an unbeliever, then it is a good chance you’ll fall into their idolatry.
  • If he can bring dissatisfactionin a marriage, then it is a good chance he could ruinyour life and your testimony with the sin of adultery.
  • If he can bring disunity, quarreling, back biting, insulting into your marriage, then it is a good chance that he can separatethe two of you and preventyou from portraying the glory of Godthrough your family.

That is why marriagesare under attack. Satanis out to stopthe Glory of God being reproducedthroughout the earth.

How Do I Fight for My Marriage?

It is not over; you are not defenseless.  We go to the scriptures to see our responsibilities as husbands or as wivesto keep us from becoming the enemies’ prey. The apostle Paul teaches this:

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

When wives submitto their husbands it is a picture of the church submittingto Christ.  I know this is not a popularthing to proclaim in 2020 and maybe even frownedupon by some.  But it is good doctrine, and this is the order which Godhas established.

Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.                   John Piper

Submission does not meanthat the husband’sword is absolute. Only Christ’s wordis absolute. No wife should follow a husband into sin,that is not Christ honoring.

Submission does not mean relinquishing your ability to thinknor does it mean that you should not give your input on decisionsnor does it mean that a wife should surrender her influence on her husband. 

When a wife feels uneasy about a situation or feelslike an unwise decisionhas been made she should be able to voice her opinionto her husband in a loving and submissive way. Often women are more sensitiveto the voice of God than menare, so if a believing wifefeels uneasyabout something, she should feel comfortableand not fearfulto bring it before her husband.  Knowing that her husband will respond in a loving way.

She might say: I really don’t have peaceabout this decision, could we talkabout it some more? 

As the wife uses her, brain, her intuition, her influence, in a submissiveand lovingmanner, she is demonstrating how the church walks in submissionto Jesus Christ.

To further illustratehow the marriagebetween a man and a woman is a picture of Christand the church, Paul then turns his attention to menand their responsibilitiesas “head of the wife.”

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 

“Headship” is a divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.                               John Piper

Think about what type of leadershipwe are called to as husbands.  We are called to love our wivesas Christ lovesthe church.  That means we are to love with an unconditional, selfless, sacrificialtype of love.

The best way to overcome the enemyand to fightfor our marriages is to leadour wives by following Christ’s example. He laid downhis life for the church and came to serverather than to be served. He illustrated how to lovethrough servant leadership. He did not seek to commandor controlHis church as some mencommandand controltheir wives.

Husbandsshould want their wivesto be excitedabout the family decisionsbecause Christwants us to be excitedabout following himand not just follow grudgingly.

When you love your wifewith a servant leadermentality, you will not have to demand submission, rather your wife will be morethan willing to submit to that kind of loving leadership.  If you find that you wife is insubordinate, then you must evaluatewhether you are walking in a Christ like love.  

32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Marriage exists to displaythe covenant-keeping lovebetween Christand his church. As the husbandloveshis wife and the wife respectsher husband, then the glory of Godand Christ’s love for the church is revealedin the earth and satan loses.  This is how we fight for our marriages.

We also need to learn how to forgive our spousesthe way Jesus forgives us.  This too will remove the foothold from the enemy in your marriage.  Let the measure of God’s grace to you in the cross of Christ be the measure of your grace to your spouse. 

Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 

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