Hate Ya Mama and Daddy and Them 

There is a Cost to Discipleship 

Q:  Who does Jesus say NOT to Hate? 

1. Your Mama 

1. Your Daddy 

1. Your Wife 

1. Your Children 

1. Your Brother and Sisters 

1. Your own life 

1. Your Enemy 

Luke 14:25-33 

25 Now great crowds accompanied him (Jesus), and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.  

Jesus Said What?! This is extreme. 

Some of the teens in the room are like secretly yeah! 

And some of us are like does that like include mother and father in laws? 

I’m just asking for a friend… 

So, let’s get this straight Jesus said to love you enemy, but hate your family, your father, your mother, your wife, your children, your brother, your sisters, AND EVEN YOUR OWN LIFE? 

Wouldn’t that be breaking a 10 Commandment? 

Of course, it is right to love our family members, and we want them to love and follow God. Elsewhere, Jesus confirmed the fifth commandment that we honor our fathers and mothers (Mark 7:9–13). And Paul sternly warned that “anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).  

Let’s hold on a second and figure out what is Jesus really saying? 

First, we must take this verse in the context of the chapter. Jesus is teaching His disciples, and, like any good teacher, He gets His students thinking. You have had this kind of teacher right, it’s the good ones that don’t just want you to spit out information and answer a, b, c, or d, but the ones that want you to think for yourselves. (my 8th grade Science teacher) 

Jesus in this case the GREATEST TEACHER, He begins with a truth statement that is hard to understand. Then He clarifies it with a metaphor. (an illustration) 

The truth statement is Luke 14:26, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” It seems that, if we don’t hate our family, we can’t be Jesus’ disciple. Or is there more to this issue? 

Well lets keep on reading on what comes behind it to get more clarity…vs 27 

27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. 

Following the statement that we must “hate” our father and mother, Jesus relates a metaphor about a man who builds a house without first counting the cost (Luke 14:28–30). The man finds that he cannot follow through with what he set out to do. He leaves the house unfinished because he cannot pay what is required. Jesus’ illustration helps explain His difficult statement about hating our mother and father—namely, we must count the cost of being a disciple.  

There is a cost to Discipleship, and that is the point of the passage. 

There is a cost to being a follower of Jesus. 

But we want to follow a Jesus that doesn’t cost us anything and just makes us happy! 

We must not forget that included in Jesus’ condition that a follower must “hate” his father and mother is the condition that he likewise hate “even his own life” (Luke 14:26, NAS). Jesus is not teaching an emotional hatred of one’s parents any more than He is teaching self-hatred.  

The emphasis is on self-denial and absolute surrender.  

Immediately following is Jesus’ instruction to “carry your own cross” (verse 27, NLT). 

Jesus wants to move YOU from the crowds into Discipleship. (Example of Aubrey Spears) 

Who do you say Jesus is? 

Discipleship is a Kingdom Decision.   

Disciple Making advances the Kingdom. 

What will it cost you, EVERYTHING! 

By comparison. Everything by Comparison.  

By Preference.  Everything by Preference. 

Some other translations make Jesus’ meaning a little clearer: “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison” (Luke 14:26, NLT, emphasis added), and the Amplified Bible says that a follower of Christ must “hate” his family members “in the sense of indifference to or relative disregard for them in comparison with his attitude toward God.”  

It is a “hatred” by comparison, not an absolute hatred. 
 
The word hate in Luke 14:26 deserves a closer look. In the Hebrew Scriptures, the contrast between “love” and “hatred” is sometimes used to communicate preference.  

For example, in dealing with inheritances in polygamous marriages, the Mosaic Law referred to “two wives, one beloved, and another hated” (Deuteronomy 21:15, KJV). This is a good, literal translation. There was a “loved” wife and a “hated” wife. Other translations usually soften the “hated” wife to be “unloved” (CSB) or “less loved” (NET).  

The law was not indicating emotional hatred on the part of the husband, only preference. One wife was preferred over the other. We have a similar use of the love/hate idiom in Malachi 1:2–3 (cf. Romans 9:13) between brothers Jacob have I love, Esau have I hated. (I prefer….) 

My love and devotion to Jesus…by comparison to everything else 

My love and devotion to Jesus…in preference to everything else. 

That is when you see the followers slip away… 

The rich young ruler…I prefer my riches… 

Ananias and Sapphira…I prefer looking religious and holy, and then they dropped dead. 

Mary Magdalene as she is pouring oil over Jesus… 

Jesus shut up the others and says “She prefers me.” 

To the widow that gave here two little pennies “She prefers me.” 

To Peter He ask “Who do YOU say I am” I want you Peter to prefer me. 

And Jesus says I want you to be my Disciple.  She prefers me? 
 
Many Christians will never have to make the painful choice of turning their backs on their family in order to follow Christ. But, around the world, there are many other Christians who face shunning, disowning, or persecution from their families. These believers, if they are to be true to Christ, are forced to live in a way perceived as “hateful” toward their “father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters” (Luke 14:26). All believers are called to acknowledge the lordship of Christ and show Him preference over all earthly ties.  

Those who must sacrifice earthly relationships have this promise: “No one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life” (Mark 10:29–30). 

But ultimately the question Jesus ask today, is who do you prefer? 

Who wins in the battle of your heart? 

Does Jesus sit on the throne of your life? 

Are you following Him 100% not just for a season, but for a lifetime? 

Are you willing to become a disciple? 

Prayer and Altar Time