Close Menu X

Allow Christ to Heal Your Why

April 15, 2018 Speaker: Tara Detiveaux Series: Fixer Upper

Topic: Inner Healing Scripture: Genesis 26:1–:11, Genesis 20:1–:7

Fixer Upper

Allowing Christ to Heal Your Why

When I was growing up, I remember reading a story in Reader’s Digest about a young woman preparing a holiday meal. It went something like this:  As this young woman was preparing a holiday ham to go into the oven, her new husband watched as she cut both ends off of the ham before putting it into the pan. This struck him as odd, so he asked, “Why do you cut off the ends of the ham?” She paused for a moment and then replied, “I’m not sure. That’s just how my mom always did it.” They immediately called the young woman’s mother to find out why she cuts the ends off of her ham before putting it into the oven. The mother, too, paused and then replied, “I’m not really sure. That’s what my mother always did so that’s how I’ve always done it.”  Their sparks of curiosity were now fanned into flames, so the young woman called her grandmother to get to the bottom of this mystery. As she shared the reason for her call with her grandmother, her grandmother burst into laughter. After she had finished laughing, the young woman asked what was so funny. “Oh my dear,” the grandmother said still chuckling, “the reason I cut the ends off of my hams was that my pan was too short and I couldn’t fit it in otherwise.”

Genesis 26:1-11

26 Now there was a famine in the land, besides the former famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went to Gerar to Abimelech king of the Philistines. And the Lord appeared to him and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; dwell in the land of which I shall tell you. Sojourn in this land, and I will be with you and will bless you, for to you and to your offspring I will give all these lands, and I will establish the oath that I swore to Abraham your father. I will multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and will give to your offspring all these lands. And in your offspring, all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because Abraham obeyed my voice and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws.”  So Isaac settled in Gerar. When the men of the place asked him about his wife, he said, “She is my sister,” for he feared to say, “My wife,” thinking, “lest the men of the place should kill me because of Rebekah,” because she was attractive in appearance. When he had been there a long time, Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out of a window and saw Isaac laughing with[a] Rebekah his wife. So Abimelech called Isaac and said, “Behold, she is your wife. How then could you say, ‘She is my sister’?” Isaac said to him, “Because I thought, ‘Lest I die because of her.’” 10 Abimelech said, “What is this you have done to us? One of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.” 11 So Abimelech warned all the people, saying, “Whoever touches this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.”

What a crazy story. 

After tremendous blessing and promise from the Lord Isaac in his fear, says that his wife Rebekah was is sister.  And he is only found out because is found “laughing” with his wife in such a way that it was obvious that is was his wife.

Why Isaac?  Why?

Genesis 12:11-13

11 When he was about to enter Egypt, he (Abraham) said to Sarai his wife, “I know that you are a woman beautiful in appearance, 12 and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared for your sake.”

Genesis 20:1-7, 13

20 From there Abraham journeyed toward the territory of the Negeb and lived between Kadesh and Shur; and he sojourned in Gerar. And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah. But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night and said to him, “Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man's wife.” Now Abimelech had not approached her. So he said, “Lord, will you kill an innocent people? Did he not himself say to me, ‘She is my sister’? And she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ In the integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands I have done this.” Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know that you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let you touch her. Now then, return the man's wife, for he is a prophet, so that he will pray for you, and you shall live. But if you do not return her, know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours.” 

We must recognize the damage we were causing to ourselves and our loved ones by hiding and pretending everything is okay and that THE WHY’S don’t exist.

Abraham and Isaac’s pattern of sin and fear were causing great grief to their entire family.

----13 And when God caused me to wander from my father's house, I (Abraham) said to her, ‘This is the kindness you must do me: at every place to which we come, say of me, “He is my brother.”’

Let me balance this somewhat by saying that the way we can best help our own children is by making certain that our footsteps are such that we would want our children to walk in them. If Isaac’s experience was, to some degree, a reflection of his father’s life, what a frightening thought that is. If our children’s lives are to mirror our own, what an awesome responsibility we have as parents to walk a path of obedience and submission to the will of God.

The Why’s of life don’t excuse anything…

but they can help explain the patterns that I have to hand over to the Lordship of Christ in life.


Why can’t I keep a job?

Why don’t I let people in?

Why do I move from relationship to relationship?

Why don’t I commit when I am in a relationship?

Why can’t I stay healthy more than a couple of months then return to my destruction?

Why do I destroy all relationships around me?

Why do I run to my addiction?

Why do I become easily angered?

Why am I lazy?

Why do I look for constant affirmation?

Why do I want your approval so much that I will do anything to get it?

Why am I not faithful to my word?

Why do I always complain about everything?

Why do I go through patterns of discouragement and despair?

Why am I so insecure?

Why don’t I keep my promises?

Why is it so easy to lie about my sister being my wife?


Some of your Why is who God created you to be. (but if not kept in check…)

Turn it Over to the Lordship of Christ!

Some of your Why is what has happened to you along the way. (you only know what you know)

Turn it Over to the Lordship of Christ!

Some of your Why is what others have allowed into them, that has been passed onto you.

Turn it Over to the Lordship of Christ

But eventually all my Whys has to be turned over to the Lordship of Christ!!


If you really want to be made whole,

ask other people that love you and want the best for you what they think and see!!

(or just adopt some kids and they will let you know)

Altar Call

What happens if we don’t allow God to heal and be Lord of the Why…

The next chapter…Jacob deceives Isaac and the lineage is passed on.

Not only that, you are not living whole in your today.

Jesus has come to give life.  Not just life in heaven, but life here now.

The good news is that Jesus Christ is our deliverer and healer and desires to free us from the bondage of strongholds. What the enemy intended for destruction, God turned around for His good.  Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” God was working behind the scenes and had the way of escape from the darkness into His glorious light all planned.

That said, it isn’t wrong to work through emotions. God created us as emotional beings, and if we try to “shut down” those parts of ourselves in an effort to avoid reliving painful moments, we can become like a volcano ready to blow. The Lord understands that emotional pain is a part of life—He created us! And today he wants to touch the why in your life which will also impact the lives of those around you.  Today would you allow Christ to heal to start healing your Why!!




More in Fixer Upper

May 13, 2018

Put on the Breastplate of Righteousness

April 29, 2018

Fixer Upper Panel

April 22, 2018

You Are What You Think