Series: Home Alone

 

Sermon Title: Don’t Fall for The Trap of Comparison

 

Home alone video clip of Marv falling into basement

 

If you are not familiar with the story, two burglars Marv and Harry have escaped out prison and have robbed a Toy Store during Christmas time.  Lo and behold, Kevin spoils their plans by breaking the store window and triggeringthe alarm.  He then leads them to his uncle’s renovated house that is armed with various traps.  As we seen in the video, Marv fell for one of the traps.  We could say he could not see what was reality as he was blinded by his own perception of what he believed to be true.

 

Today we want you to be equipped so that you would not fall for the trap of comparison.  If you understand the reality of who God made you to be, then you will never fall for a false reality by comparing yourself to others.  Has anyone ever compared yourself to someone else?

 

Though some Comparisons are necessary.  For example, when a football team plays against another football team, it is good for the coach to compare the two teams to see how they match up.  He would want to put up his better players against their better players.  He would want to run plays on the offense that give him the upper hand when comparing what the defense if giving you. 

 

What about war? It would be wise to compare both armies to see how well you match up before going into battle. 

 

What about in business, a company must compare their products and/or services along with their prices to another to see how they match up against the competition.  You see this with gas stations all the time.

 

As a consumer it would benefit you greatly to compare prices of items you are looking to purchase.

 

We see other examples of comparison

 

What about when Paul tells the church at Corinth. 1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

 

To imitate Paul, one would first have to make a comparison about Paul’s life to their own. 

 

In 2 Corinthians 8 Paul encourages the church at Corinth to give generously as the poor Macedonians had done.   For the church at Corinth to give as generously as the church in Macedonia they must compare their giving to that of the Macedonians. The point is that not all comparisons are necessarily bad. 

 

However, when comparison makes you feel either superior or inferior to someone else then it ceases to be God honoring.

 

If comparing yourself to another leads to jealousy or covetousness, then the bible is clear that as believers we are not to fall into such sins. 

 

On the flip side if comparing yourself to another leads to feeling of pride, (I’m better than you) we know that the bible is very clear about such

 

Proverbs 21:4 Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin.

 

It is a part of our sinful nature to make such jealous and prideful comparisons.

 

Why do we compare ourselves to others?  We try to find some external win to satisfy an internal longing.

• We all want to belong,
• we all want to know that our lives matter,
• we all want to know that our lives have value and purpose.

 

So, it was in the our story for today. 

The Birth of Esau and Jacob

Genesis 25:19-26

¹⁹ These are the generations of Isaac, Abraham's son: Abraham fathered Isaac, ²⁰ and Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to be his wife. ²¹ And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. ²² The children struggled together within her, and she said, “If it is thus, why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. ²³ And the Lord said to her,

“Two nations are in your womb, (didn’t have 4d ultrasounds)
    and two peoples from within you shall be divided;
the one shall be stronger than the other,
    the older shall serve the younger.”

 

²⁴ When her days to give birth were completed, behold, (just as the Lord said) there were twins in her womb. ²⁵ The first came out red, all his body like a hairy cloak, so they called his name Esau. ²⁶ Afterward his brother came out with his hand holding Esau's heel, so his name was called Jacob.  Isaac was sixty years old when she bore them.

 

First let’s consider that God created both Jacob and Esau and that He had a distinct purpose for each of them and they were both uniquely created according to God’s plan.  Though they were born as twins in one womb yet they would become two separate nations opposed to each other.

 

While Esau the oldest would be considered the stronger of the two, yet he would serve his younger brother Jacob.  This was God’s plan. 

²⁷ When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. ²⁸ Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

As with any family, distinctions are made as time goes by.  For example, my mother use to dress me and my brother alike for quite some time.  We would often get confused as twins because we did look a lot alike when we were younger.  In fact, for a good portion of our lives, whether intentionally or not we have been compared to each other. 

But as time went on, things changed, and we no longer dressed alike, nor do we really look alike, we have different careers, different hobbies, our families look different, different interest, ultimately, we have become the individuals that God made us to be. 

It is to be noted that Jacob and Esau also had some major differences about them which made them very unique. 

Esau was stronger, he was a skillful hunter a man of the field.  He was a man’s man if you will as the scriptures say he was loved by his father Isaac.

While Jacob was a quiet man who dwelled in tents and cooked stews. He was more of a momma’s boy as the scriptures say he was loved by his mother Rebekah.  He was still a man, nonetheless.  He wasn’t any less of a man because he was not a man of the field.  Just different than Esau.

Jacob would never hit the mark of what Isaac’s standard was.  It was obvious from the text that “Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game.” He loved the fact that his first-born son was a hairy man, that he worked the field(and smelled like he worked the field) and hunted for food.  However, Jacob was not like that at all, God did not wirehim that way. 

The opposite could be true as well.  Every boy needs the nurturing of a mother to become the man he is supposed to be.  It is from mothers in which men learn to love and care for their wives and children.  While Rebekah lavishedher love on Jacob, we cannot say the same about Esau as he was not her favorite. 

Jacob could not rise to the standard of his father, neither could Esau rise to the standard of his mother.  “Rebekah loved Jacob” because Jacob was the one the Lord had spoken to her about and not Esau.

There was favoritism on both sides which would escalate into an epic family debacle.  How would Jacob obtain favor from his father because when he was compared to Esau he fell short.  How would Esau find favor with his mother because when he was compared to Jacob he fell short.

The two young men would deal with this for quite some time.

Fast forward to the next chapter.

Genesis 27:1-4

¹ When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called Esau his older son and said to him, “My son”; and he answered, “Here I am.” ² He said, “Behold, I am old; I do not know the day of my death. ³ Now then, take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me, ⁴ and prepare for me delicious food, such as I love, and bring it to me so that I may eat, that my soul may bless you before I die.”

To summarize the story a bit, Rebekah overhears the conversation and then schemes together with Jacob to trick Isaac (Jacob’s father) into giving him the blessing that was intended for the first-born son Esau.  Their plan succeeds. Which leads to more comparisons.  Let’s compare the blessings

The blessing which Isaac gives Jacob: (thinking he is Esau)

²⁷ “See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed!

Couple of things to note:

• Isaac refers to Esau as “my son” or his favorite
• The smell of Esau was a pleasing smell to his father, as he smelled like the field.
• Jacob through deceit, is the one actually receiving the blessing, and must endure his father praising the attributes of his brother, who was clearly favored.
• Though Jacob is receiving the blessing, still in his mind he knows that he does not measure upto his brother according to Isaac

²⁸ May God give you of the dew of heaven and of the fatness of the earth and plenty of grain and wine. ²⁹ Let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may your mother's sons bow down to you.

Again, thinking he is talking to Esau.  Isaac’s intent is that Esau would reign over Jacob. But God had a different plan.

Romans 9:11-12

¹¹ though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— ¹² she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” ¹³ As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”

Cursed be everyone who curses you, and blessed be everyone who blesses you!”

Though Isaac intended it for Esau, He spoke it over Jacob.  If a father were to declare a blessing over his children, then it was as good as a written contract.

Here is what Isaac declares over Esau after it had been discovered that Jacob stole the blessing:

            39 Then Isaac his father answered and said to him:

“Behold, away from the fatness of the earth shall your dwelling be, and away from the dew of heaven on high. 40 By your sword you shall live, and you shall serve your brother;
but when you grow restless you shall break his yoke from your neck.”

But what we see is that Jacob desperately wanted his father’s blessing that he was willing to deceive his own father to get it.  He was tired of being compared to Esau and feeling inferior to him. So how comforting to have his father pronounce such a blessing over his life even if it was for a moment. 

 

As men, we strive for the approval of our fathers.  We long for that verbal affirmation, we need to know that we matter.  We desire to hear those words “I’m proud of you son.” 

 

Jacob had outwitted his brother Esau on two occasions, the first was when he sold a bowl of soup in exchange for birth right of the first born, and now he had received his father’s blessing through cunning deceit.

 

Comparison had led to jealousy; jealousy had led to deceit and manipulation. When he realized that he was not going to get the blessing naturally he took matters into his own hands.

 

Jacob in a sense tried to be someone he was not, mainly his brother Esau, by dressing himself in young goat skins to cover his smooth arms, all for the acceptance of man, mainly his father.

 

Before we are too hard on Jacob, when have we done the same thing? When have you tried to be someone you are not, for the sake of impressing others or for gaining their favor?

 

We do it on Social media all the time.  We paint a picture of our perfect homes, with our perfect families, eating the perfect food, smiling perfectly at the camera, with our perfect children at the perfect vacation.

 

We create an image of ourselves that we are perfect, and everything is fine, when it is not.  Nor is any one’s life “perfect.”  But we see everyone else with their “perfect” lives and we feel inadequate, like we don’tmeasure up, we feel like we are losers.  So, then we kick it into performance mode to make it seem like we matter.

 

Maybe we buy more things and put ourselves in extreme debt so that people will think that we made it.  Maybe we get a bigger house and a nicer car to prove our worth.  Maybe we’ll go to college to prove that were intelligent. 

 

Those things in and of themselves are not wrong to acquire, but it is a problem if we are trying to find our worth through those things.

 

Craig Groeschel - The fastest way to kill something special is to compare it to something else

           

Hebrews 12:1-2

 

¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely,

 

When you begin to compare yourself to others in an unhealthy way, you are in a sense carrying an unnecessary weight that you were not meant to carry. 

 

God did not make you like so and so, He made you to be you.  There is no one who can be better at being you than you. 

 

Lay aside that weight of comparing yourself to others, lay aside that weight of living up to the expectations of others instead live your life to please God.  You will never make everyone happy, but you can live your life to make God happy.  Faith pleases God

 

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

 

We all have a race that is set before us and your race is much different than my race.  But we are each to run THE race that is set before us and not to run someone else’s race.

What happens to a track star who focuses on the person beside them rather than their own race?

As a pastor I had to come to the understanding my race is different than another pastor’s.

 

Going back to our story; We know it was the providence of God which elevated Jacob over his brother Esau. But I wonder if Jacob could not have gone about it differently.  For God did not tell Jacob to deceive his father into giving him the blessing, but rather He told Rebekah that the blessing would happen. 

 

Why not run your own race Jacob and stop comparing yourself to your brother Esau?  Stop striving for the acceptance of man, when you have been accepted by your Holy Father.

 

Why not run your own race Hope Community Church and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.  Stop striving for the acceptance of man, when you have been accepted by your Holy Father.

 

Allow God to bring about that which He had already promised to do.  If He said it, then it will happen.  Run Your Race free of comparison. 

 

Why be deceitful, why pretend to be something or someone that you are not.  For nothing is hidden from the Lord.

 

Jacob’s worth was wrapped up in the fact of who his father (Isaac) thought of him rather than what His “Abba” Father thought of him who had already chosen Jacob over Esau and had blessed him.  He tried to be someone he was not.  He was Jacob, not Esau.

 

For the writer of Hebrews continues. (Hebrews 12:2)

 

² looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

 

Who or what is going to define your worth?

 

I have a suggestion, Look to Jesus, as the founder and perfecter of your faith.  Find your worth in Him, not in this world.  Not in the acceptance of man, Not in the acceptance of woman, but in Him.  Don’t compare yourself to this person or that person, run your race.

 

If you are to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to Jesus.  Strive to be like Him.  How do you measure up to Him?  He alone should be the standard to which we compare ourselves to.

We should live to hear those words well done my good and faithful servant. 

 

Though we will find a great disparity between us and Jesus, the good news is that the righteousness of Christ Jesus has been imputed to us as our righteousness. 

 

2 Corinthians 5:21

 

²¹ For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 

(To make a quick comparison between us and Christ)

 

We were born sinners                            Jesus knew no sin,

We deserved the penalty                       Jesus did not deserve it, but He bore upon Himself the penalty of our sins

Our righteousness is as filthy rags           His Righteousness was imputed to us as our righteousness

 

When the God who formed you and created you distinctly from any one else sees you, He sees his Son, and says over you “forgiven, accepted, child of God, redeemed of the Lord, highly favored, head and not the tail, called, bride of Christ”

 

That surpasses any validation that we could ever receive from another person. 

If you find validation in Him, then you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. Because being obsessed with what people think about you is the fastest way to forget about what God thinks about you.

 

Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

 

Whose expectation are you trying to live up to?

 

If you are a follower of Jesus and your answer is anything but Christ, you will always be running a race that you cannot win.

 

• Are you able to see the real you, or are you blinded by a false reality?
• Have you taken on unnecessary weight of trying to be someone you were never intended to be?

 

Don’t fall for the trap of comparison.