Series: Strong Families in a Broken World

Title: Building A Marriage That Will Last

Perhaps you have dreamed of marrying that perfect someone. You ladies may have had it all planned out since you were seven.  You know exactly what you want.

• Your prince charming, a knight in shining armor.
• That guy who is always dependable who comes to rescue his beautiful damsel in distress.
• That guy who is willing to fight dragons for you.
• He puts in the extra effort in pursing
• He is a man of principles and always keeps his word.
• He’s charismatic and everyone listens to his views.
• He’s handsome and a smooth talker.

Perhaps there are some guys in the room who knew exactly what they wanted when looking for a spouse.

• An excellent wife that is described in Proverbs 31
• Godly woman
• Beautiful
• Trustworthy
• Full of good deeds
• Industrious
• Hard working
• Full of Strength and dignity
• Makes her husband look good.

We have high hopes going into marriage, we hope that our spouses will completely and always satisfy us in fulfilling these roles in our lives.  We place unrealistic expectations in our spouses.  We look for them to fill a void that only God can fill.  When things don’t go according to our expectations, that’s when we run into marital issues. 

Rather than holding on to a view of marriage that is conjured up by our imaginations, let’s examine God’s Word for His original intent for marriage.

Today we want to give you three reasons why God has established the covenant of marriage.

Marriages Are to Reflect God’s Image

Genesis 1:26-27

²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” ²⁷ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

To reflect His image is not to reinvent His image.  We cannot make God who we want Him to be.  We cannot change His rules regarding what is sin or what is righteous to fit our lifestyle.  However, we are to reflect who He is, in the earth, for all to see.  What better way to do this than in the covenant of marriage. 

There will be seasons in marriage in which you will be tested.  There will be times that you disagree with your spouse.  There may even be times of distrust.  But rather than fighting over the small details of your lives and allowing satan to be victorious in bringing about disunity, choose instead to reflect God’s image by loving unconditionally.  Love like Christ.

Ephesians 5:21-33

²¹ submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ^{. 22} Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶ that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body.³¹ “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

From the text, wives are instructed to submit to their husbands and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.  Both represent the relationship between Christ and His Church.  Both are called to reflect His love one towards another. 

Consider all the wrong things that you have done to offend Christ.  Now think about His Love, grace, and His forgiveness toward you.  Now demonstrate that same love, grace, and forgiveness towards your spouse.  Whether you think they deserve it or not.

Besides being an example of love, grace and forgiveness, Marriage is also picture of God’s goodness. 

         Genesis 2:18

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

It was a picture of God’s goodness and kindness to give Adam a “helper who was fit for him.”

When I consider marriages of those who have walked with the Lord for decades, I cannot help but think of God’s goodness that is being reflected in their marriage.  As I see the elderly husband loving his wife and holding her hand, I consider how Christ Jesus faithfully loves the church that He gave His life for. 

When we focus on reflecting God’s image in our marriage, we will be less likely to be fault finders and less likely to fight against one another.  To know whether we are reflecting God’s image let us compare our lives to scripture:

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 

How well do you reflect these traits in your marriage?

Marriages are to reflect God’s image.  The generations that are coming behind us desperately need to see God’s reflection in our marriages. 

Marriages Produce Godly Heritages

We will not spend a lot of time on this subject today, as we will address it in more depth in coming weeks.

We mainly want to say for now that God has called us to be fruitful and to multiply. 

Genesis 1:28

²⁸ And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 

As Christians, if we are able to have or adopt children, we are to mold them to live for Christ.

Our responsibility as parents is to raise children to become disciples of Christ. (More on that later)

We are being fruitful as we replicate ourselves, (satsuma tree produces other satsumas, a replica of itself) and we are multiplying the kingdom of God as we rear our children to follow His ways.

Marriages Exemplifies God’s Power

The third purpose of God that we see for the man and his wife, is that they would not only fill the earth but that they would subdue it as well. 

Subdue- to bring into subjection.  They were to have dominion over all other created beings. Mainly those created beings that inhabit the earth. 

What about spiritual beings, mainly demons they also inhabit the earth.  Are we to have dominion over them?  Are they to be subdued by us as well. 

The answer is Yes. But to acknowledge this is to acknowledge that our fight is not against our spouse.  It is spiritualby nature. You and your spouse are not enemies, but rather you have a common enemy to fight.

According to the Bible spiritual warfare exists. (Ephesians 6:10-18) You have a common enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy you and your marriage. In fact, many marriages are under attack.

But also found in that passage is the hope that we master or dominate forces of evil.

• take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day,

(hope of withstanding)

• take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 

(hope of extinguishing the flaming darts)

All the pieces of armor support the fact that whatever the devil throws against you it will not prosper.  That you are to rule and reign even over the darkness that is in the earth.

Matthew 18:18-20

¹⁸ Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. ¹⁹ Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

The married couple who puts Christ first in their life, reigns together in the power of the Holy Spirit. They are stronger together.  They exemplify God’s power in the earth.

Consider this blessing the Lord would have performed had the Israelites obeyed the Lord.

            Leviticus 26:7-8

⁷ You shall chase your enemies, and they shall fall before you by the sword. ⁸ Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall chase ten thousand, and your enemies shall fall before you by the sword. 

The man and woman are stronger together than if they were apart.

Also consider this caution given by Solomon who was considered “wiser than all other men”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Together the Christian married couple overcomes spiritual darkness, while reflecting the Light of Christ in their surroundings. They raise up godly children to do the same.

It is an incredible thing to have someone fighting with you, together on your side especially when you might not be at your best. 

So, when prince charming is no longer charming,

Recap:

Marriages Are to Reflect God’s Image

Marriages Produce Godly Heritages

Marriages Exemplify God’s Power